Here's the second half of our countdown to the top spot for Beard Rock album of the year. At the end of the page, there's a competiton to unscramble the names of artists whose excellent albums would have made it onto several of our writers' individual lists (which we don't publish as they've all got social network accounts to announce this to anyone who gives a shit).
10. Slomatics - A Hocht
What we said: "Recorded on the actual asteroid that hit Earth to wipe out all the dinosaurs 90 million years ago, Slomatics, after finishing their 35min set, used an obsidian axe to slash a hole in time and fucked off into the future to present day Belfast."
9. ERAAS - ERAAS
What we said: "By the end of the album closer, Trinity, I became aware that I was rocking back and forth in a way that can only be described as deranged. This is such an epic album it produces involuntary muscular spasms in the listener."
8. Napalm Death - Utilitarian
What we said: "If you love fast, aggressive music, Napalm Death matter more than ever. Both focused and enterprising, 'Utilitarian' deserves to be held up as a 21st century metal totem."
7. Swans - The Seer
What we said: ‘The Seer’ is the equivalent of a 49 hour methamphetamine sex romp, only ending after you’ve chewed your lovers face off and then scrapped with the police who have taken great umbrage to your zombie patter."
6. Perfume Genius - Put your back N 2 it
What we said: "You could be raging with anger and lashing out like a smaller, paler version of the Incredible Hulk with a beer belly and a beard ,smashing fists through bathroom doors, or on your knees in floods of tears, thinking 'Why the fuck is it always me?' Two or three songs into ‘Put your Back N 2 It’ and you would be level pegged and back to a logically-thinking human being."
5. Goat - World Music
What we said: "There is something about this oddball ethnography that makes 'World Music' so beguiling. It’s almost as if every pop cultural reference to voodoo has been boiled down to add stock to this potent take on psyche rock. Not only that, it is incredibly danceable too."
4. Conan – Monnos
What we said: "Most of the songs have enough heavy animation to make you move, albeit at woolly mammoth-pace, though all but charred traces of yer blues are burnt away. The guitar tone is not far off that on more formless avant-drone outings: like putting my ear to the top of a garden chiminea in the middle of an aerosol purge. Murderous."
3. Om - Advaitic Songs
What we said: "...a band that is exploring, with every release, the outer edges of consciousness and philosophy. It's devotional music that requires no god. Inspirational."
2. Godspeed you Black Emperor - 'Allelujah! Dont bend! Ascend
What we said: Well, we gave this a pretty middling review. After an ugly knife fight between those of us who think this is a work of majestic, mind-expanding genius and a smaller faction who worship fire and see it as a half-arsed EP with one great track, power in numbers told, while the few dissenters remain bloodied but unbowed.
1. El-P - Cancer 4 Cure
Our number one impressed us pretty much across the board. A volley of tar-black humour helps you ride through the overriding sense of intoxication and paranoia, and musically 'Cancer 4 Cure' is pure audio crack for anyone who likes lethal bass, nasty analogue distortion, hallucinatory synth noise or just a big fuck-off gritty groove to nod along to and imagine killing your boss. What we said: "I had read that EL-P had taken great inspiration from Public Enemy's hit-maker production crew The Bomb Squad for this album and right away, with the big beats and sprays of synths and samples, you can see what he was talking about. However, this is all sparking from deep in the mind of EL-P himself."
Okay folks - competition time. If you can unscramble the names of all these artists who could and maybe should have made our top 20, the first to pop the correct answers in the comments section below wins a Beard Rock T-shirt of their choice (stock dependent). We'll get in touch via fb. And you also need to get out more.
1. CONTORTED HAREM
2. LIMP AORTAE
4. A RUNT
5. SHIT BERC
6. TRYING PURI
7. TOMB CHALK
8. KOLA KIRK TOUT
9. IE A CON
10. ADDING NOUGHT GRISTLE
11. CATTLE WORKS
12. QUEUERS HARPS
13. DIKED STEAMER
14. GUM RATS
16. NEVER COG
17. EGGS HERNIA
18. SUNG LOFTILY
19. LASHING STROKE
Posted: Thu 6 December 2012